Keitaro's Other Side
by Pietaro Urashima
Summary: It's a Love Hina Ranma 12 Crossover!
1. Transformation

Keitaro's Other Side

A Love Hina/ Ranma ½ Fanfic

Pietaro Urashima

Disclaimer: Mr. Urashima owns neither Love Hina nor Ranma ½. He probably never will, unless his prayers are answered and he is granted secret magical powers. As to how he will use said powers, the universe must ponder for eternity. Many props to Mr. Ken Akimatsu and Ms. Rumiko Takahashi! I wonder what would happen if they did a Manga together... Alas, 'tis for us to wonder.

Hey all! This is my first fanfic ever, so be nice to it... (small pause) As nice as you can be to a first fanfic. There's a lot of potential to this one so I hope you enjoy it! (In commercial tone) Praise, Evaluation, Criticism and Scorn are accepted. (In casual tone) ...um, not so much scorn is accepted, but that's life.

The story starts at the Hinata House somewhat after the Hokkaido incident in book 12.

Chapter 1: Kei-Kun to Kei-Chan

"Mmmn." Keitaro was having a dream. His dreams have in the past, created and solved problems. Other times they just showed how screwed he was at the time.

Right now, all that was happening was a normal dream, or that was what it seemed. "All right! Another priceless artifact. (digs some more) Another?" Keitaro was big into archaeology. "Where am I? Why are there things in every hole I dig?"

"You in China, young man."

This is where he woke up. "China?" Because of the omnipotence of Keitaro's dreaming abilities, he took them very seriously when he could. Which meant whenever he didn't dream about giant dinosaurs or mecha rampaging around. "China, huh. Maybe I should go there, I don't really think I have ever been in Chi-mrrgh!!!"

"Wake up, sleepy head!!!" Kaolla Su swung in through the window as usual and greeted Keitaro with a boot to the head. This over a period of time would eventually mean the death of anyone, but this is Keitaro Urashima. He has survived the plethora of Uber attacks from the God's Cry School, Naru's rage induced fighting style, Explosions, Giant Radishes, Mole Statues, near fatal loss of blood (nosebleeds, common for a male landlord of a girls dorm), the Residents of Hinata House, and the least of which would be boots to the head. And this happened almost every day, save for the Giant Radishes and Mole Statues.

"Su?" Keitaro rubbed his head. "Why exactly do you do that? Every day?"

"First it was fun, then it was habit. Today, I woke up hanging outside your window."

"Su? You woke up outside my window?!?" Keitaro held the deer in headlights look for a second {For those of you who don't know, deer in headlights looks like this: O.O}. "Huh, I guess that's not as weird as your room." He was right.

Motoko burst into the room. "Su, come on, Keitaro probably has something to do." Enter the logic of the Hinata House. Now recently Keitaro has proven himself to be a pretty decent person, and a good catch nonetheless. But the equation still stands: Keitaro and girl in bedroom equals Keitaro is a pervert. Now Su and many other girls have been in Keitaro's room before, with Keitaro in fact. But ever since Hokkaido, the girl's brains, aside from Naru, have been pretty much short circuited. "K-K-Kei-Keitaro!!! Have you no decency? You already have Naru! What are you doing with Su!?!" Motoko, out of habit, moved her hand to the hilt of her sword.

"Nothing, she kicked me in the head again."

"Oh." Keitaro thought he was safe from Motoko's godly techniques. He was. He was in danger for another reason.

Naru fell through the hole in the ceiling, landed, jumped at Keitaro, and screamed, "Naru Super Iron Rage Fist!!!" She overheard and was quick to accuse Keitaro of wrongdoing. Now when I said Naru wasn't short circuited, she's not. This was out of habit {Lots of things seem to be out of habit at the Hinata House, ne?}. Keitaro at the moment was flying towards China.

"Naru, exactly why did you do that?" Motoko asked. Su was measuring Keitaro's trajectory.

"He said he has me. He doesn't HAVE ME! ...w-well maybe he does. But still, he shouldn't say things like that!"

"Uh. He didn't say that. I did. Again."

Naru's eyes widened in shock and partly in fear. She ran to the window.

"Shouldn't he be coming down now?" Motoko asked.

Then she went out to look for Seta.

(How the hell did she do that? And how does she get off doing that?) Keitaro started thinking as he flew from the window. It stopped hurting now, but usually he would land in the nearby forest. The forest was shrinking. (That's not normal...)

Seta was headed towards China when he saw Keitaro flying at an unusual velocity in the direction that he was going. He then decided to drive over to Hinata House. Kitsune was out front with Kanako, doing something no one ever thought to see. They were having mundane conversation over gambling prospects, literally the next horse race. "Hello Kitsune, is Motoko around?"

Kitsune was being frazzled at the conversation with Kanako, so she didn't answer. She always went for the miracle upset, which never, ever happened. Kanako intervened here, "I think she's on the roof, practicing. Why do you want to see her?"

"Keitaro. Flying. Towards. China."

"Oh..." Pause. "Oniichan!!!!!!" She left to ask Su for a Mecha Tamago.

"I'll never understand this place." Seta said as he jumped to the roof. "Hello Motoko. Did you send Keitaro into high orbit?"

"Um no. That was Naru. She's looking for you."

"Naru?" A sense of urgency arose in Seta's voice. "I should've known. Where is she?"

"SETA!!!!!!!" Seta turned around to a crying Naru. "I knocked Keitaro into another country! Waahhhhh!!!" {Note: She does this, to a somewhat smaller degree almost every day.}

"I know. I saw. Let's go." Seta put one hand on Naru's shoulder and began to lead her into the dorm. Motoko figured that since it was her fault Naru bopped Keitaro, she should follow them. Kitsune, snapping out of her trance, went inside to get something to eat.

(I should get frequent flyer miles for this. Is that China? Hey! This wasn't too bad after all!!!) Keitaro thought, enjoying it for about a second. (Wait... How do I land?) Pause. (NOOOOOOOO!!!)

"No, you can't take the Mecha-Tamago! It blew up!!! You did that!!!"Kanako thought for a little while. Realizing that it, in fact, was her fault the Mecha-Tamago was scrap metal right now, she asked Su, "But you have to have some kind of flying device, right?"

"No, I don't." Seta, just walking in with Naru, heard those words, as did Naru, who then began to become reduced to a torrent of tears. "Look," Su explained, "There IS an invention that does fly. It has been around for a while, it's called the airplane?!" Everyone in the room was startled at Su's resolve. Motoko was just startled.

"To the airport!!!" Kanako exclaimed. Everyone in the room just started following her. [Group walks past the kitchen] Shinobu followed as she did not want to be left alone. Kanako grabbed Kitsune, saying, "Come here, gambling girl, we need you to come up with some money gaining scheme quick."

"Hey, hey, hey! Let me at least get my bottle!"

"NO BOTTLE!!!" Everyone said. Kitsune could get REALLY plastered.

(Oh God, how am I gonna get out of this one? I don't think I can even survive a fall like this!) Keitaro saw trees get bigger. It seemed that he was headed towards a small clearing. Keitaro whimpered.

"Time for your work, girl." Kanako said. Motoko groaned. She knew that Kit's schemes involved Motoko doing something to disgrace her art. So she stepped forward. Then she was surprised.

"Some kind of contest... yes that's it. I need a short pole, a big clearing and Naru."

"Me?!" Naru said. "Her!?" Motoko added, and continued to stand there confused. Su whooped out another radar and went in the direction of a big field. Shinobu pulled a pole from nowhere {She does that a lot, recently}. Sarah, who was in Seta's van, pulled out a booth for Kitsune to talk from. Mutsumi... wait... {Mutsumi was there?} (Myuh♥) {Right...}. Seta started to advertise the event with Kanako.

(I wonder if we can find him...) He wondered.

He saw many, many ponds out of the corner of his eye, but all that he could focus on is the growing stump of a tree he was headed towards. (How the hell did Naru do this anyway? Oh well. This is it.) And he braced himself for the inevitable DOOM.

WHUMP! And he made a nice crater.

"Naru, I know that you can do this. You did this, just when you did... Oops."

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You can do it! Do it and we all will have money on the side after this." Naru nodded. Kitsune went up to the booth. "Gather round folks! Here is an opportunity to show off and make some money while at it! Any one but only one can challenge our lovely champion in distance hitting. You must punch this Wooden Block on top of the pole as far as you can. If it goes farther than this girl's does, then you win the bets which will be placed now. Bets start at 5000 yen."

There was much hustle and bustle around the booth. Then a giant shadow covered the booth. A giant muscular shadow. "I'll challenge her." All the previous challengers took a second to back out. Then everyone changed their bets to the mass of muscle.

([blink] I-I'm alive? I can't move, but I'm alive!) Now let us take a short break to explain this. Keitaro has always been known to be just about immortal. He can't in the least avoid pain, massive pain, but he never died from truly fatal things. Now what Keitaro had was a curse of curses. This basically meant that Keitaro would be cursed by a great many curses, until he accomplished his goal, which would mean he then would have even more curses attuned to him.

This mass of curses, although the source of all his problems, has flexed his chi into something incredibly potent. Anyone who took a real good look at his chi would see a really thin layer of light around him. This was the secret to Keitaro's survival. This barrier protected him from fatal harm. It did nothing to stop pain, but dying was nowhere in this guy's future. Now, he has just survived a fall big enough to leave a crater. He normally wouldn't survive that too well {um... more broken things}, but where he was in the moment and its current connection was more than enough to create a dampening effect with the residual chi in the area.

Now this all is true because this is MY FANFIC!!! And in MY FANFIC, Anything Goes! {Hint.} So if I say Keitaro is so cursed that he won't die, then he won't because it's MY FANFIC!!!

{Keitaro: Hey does that mean that I won't suffer any more bodily harm in this fic?

Pietaro: Oh of course it doesn't. Anything Goes {Hint.}, but I can still stick with tradition, CAN'T I?!?

Keitaro: Oh... yes you can...

Pietaro: Alright then! Now back to MY FANFIC!!! Already in progress.}

The muscle blob stepped up to the pole and hefted his arm. With a grunt, he smashed his hand into the block, and it flew clear into the faraway woods. People felt happy that they would now walk away from there with much money in their pockets. And there was quite a big betting pool. It got close to a half million yen.

Naru stepped up to the pole. She thought back to the morning. Then she shouted, "Naru Super Steel Anguish Fist!!!" and took a swing at the block.

The pole flew across the field. The block was different. It blinked off into the distance. Kitsune was collecting the money. The crowd, quickly emptied their pockets and ran away. Mr. Muscle, was quite simply, dumbfounded. He stood there, all day. Naru had to take the money and drag the crew to the airport.

Keitaro, gaining control of his arms after snapping them in place, snapped his legs in place. "Eh... too much Gundam Wing, I guess..." He got up and looked around at the crater. He had unearthed various artifacts with his impact. There was no crowd around the crater. In this region, that was actually nothing. So he had no bothers in his archaeological gold mine. {Hey, sure he has insane bad luck, but that doesn't mean he can't have insane good luck at the same time!} Just then, he got hit in the head with a sizzling wooden block. "Ow..." {Well then, I guess he does have very insane bad luck.}

He put all of the trinkets in one place. Deciding to take a break, he went in the direction of the ponds he had seen. What he didn't know was that he was headed towards a training ground, a quite famous training ground from another famous Manga/ Anime {HINT.}.

Just now, Naru and the gang were inside Seta's van, driving towards Keitaro, with the help of Su's radar. And Rocket Booster. They had lost a lot of time funding the trip.

Keitaro was taking a stroll around a rather infamous spring {HINT.}. Bamboo sticks stuck out from it. "Ah, a training ground. Maybe I should try." And he jumped on the bamboo. Big mistake. He heard a charging sound coming closer. Way closer.

"We're almost there," Su said. Everyone else either tried to turn off the booster or helped Seta steer. Neither was good at keeping the van's occupants safe, but a little effort would go a long way in a moment.

(No, it can't be.) Keitaro thought. It was. Seta's van erupted through the trees. And somehow landed safely. They did see Keitaro lose his balance a bit. Getting out, they ran towards him, and saw him on a bamboo stick, wobbling. They saw nothing wrong with him falling into a spring. Neither did Keitaro. Splash. Everyone but Keitaro saw something wrong coming out of the spring.

"K-k-k-k..." was all anyone who could say anything said.

An old Chinese man came out of nowhere and said. "Ah. There is very tragic story of young girl who drown in spring one thousand five hundred year ago. Now, anyone who fall in spring, take form of young girl." This they all saw. Keitaro saw everyone looking at him. He looked at himself. And a girlish scream could be heard throughout China, and in some parts of Japan.

Mutsumi seemed to be the only one unaffected by what happened. Putting two and two together, she said simply, "Kei...-chan?♥"

-End Chapter One-

Well, that was fun. There is more on the way. YAY!!! This was started about a week after reading the first fanfic I have ever read. Props and props to Vega Obscura 666, who actually got me into fan fiction. Be cruel or nice in your reviews. Just review!!! Now. Or I will tape a picture of Keitaro to you and send Naru after you.


	2. Enter Nerima

Keitaro's Other Side

A Love Hina/ Ranma ½ Fanfic

Pietaro Urashima

Insert essentially redundant disclaimer here.

Hello, I'm here again, with the next chapter in my own little fanfic. MY FANFIC! NOT YOURS! Ahem, sorry about that. Maltreated young child rearing its ugly head. Moving along, enjoy this second chapter.

Chapter 2: Enter Nerima

Silence filled the cursed Chinese training ground, as everyone tried furiously but in vain to understand the events that had just transpired. They all had chased after Keitaro into China, and now he was a she. Keitaro was wondering why they had come through the trees in a van instead of on foot. But then he thought, (Wait a minute, how else would they do it?).

Seta stayed quiet as to avoid being pummeled by the girls around him. Sarah was thinking with Su, wondering where they had read about this before. Kanako was sobbing with Shinobu, while Mutsumi, just smiled. Motoko was wondering if Keitaro was trying to be perverted in doing this. Kitsune was laughing quietly to herself {She found booze}. And Naru, could say nothing, or do anything short of breathe at the moment, and she was finding that quite hard.

Keitaro on the other hand, was trying desperately to either not have a nosebleed or faint. One would have him flying again, while the other would have him swimming again. He did not want either as of recently. Then he, er, she said, "Hi guys, nice to see ya! Um, would someone mind telling me WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON HERE!?!"

The crowd near the van remained silent. But the old Chinese man was still there, and he broke the silence. "Young man, you fall into Spring of Drowned Girl, and take form of young girl. There is other tragic story, of other boy who fell into this spring a while ago, and a group of people, who all fell into other springs. They are in Nerima now, and you, young man, er... woman, should go there."

"Uh, maybe we could come along Keitaro." Everyone was surprised that Naru was able to speak. "You could definitely use some help." Everyone then quietly walked into the van and sat, quietly. Their response would have either been to maim Keitaro or laugh at him. But because of the immediate situation, they realized that either would be insensitive. Motoko also noticed that Keitaro's aura was more vibrant and active at the moment, so she was signaling to everyone that normal responses would not be advisable. In short, for this rare moment, Silence was Golden, even for Su.

Mutsumi however, still smiling, hopped into the spring and took Keitaro by the hand. She dragged her to the van and put her in it. Then she hopped in and giggled.

A young boy was walking down the street, and he sneezed. "That's odd..." The young boy realized that something very unfortunate was going to happen soon, and resumed walking; things like this always happened to him.

Keitaro and the gang were flying towards Japan in search of Nerima. They were also flying in Seta's Van. Booster active, Keitaro, who was in the driver's seat, asked, "Su, where is Nerima?"

"Oh, it is... (beep beep ding) right down there." Su was smiling along with Sarah, they knew where they had heard of this before. They never thought it was real until now. Now that they did, their minds were already filled with countless new ways to cause mischief.

"Thank you, Su. Um, Naru? Why exactly did you punch me back at the house?"

"Um... I heard something wrong again."

"I figured, but why did you punch me so hard?"

"I... I really don't know. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted."

The rest were trying too hard to not laugh to say anything, except for Kitsune, who was laughing too hard to say anything.

Nerima was a very strange town indeed. Just about everyone practices some kind of martial art, about half of them practice some incredibly obscure martial art, and the town seems to attract practitioners of martial arts never before known to man and no one would even consider practicing. There were also incredibly good restaurants made so by very good cooks who probably practiced some food based martial art. Basically anything that was weird somehow was manifested in Nerima. But the weirdest thing is the group of people who fell into the springs at the Training Ground of 1000 Accursed Springs.

These people somehow are a magnet for almost every relatively strange event in Nerima. Well, that is to be expected of a group of people who take different forms when splashed with cold water. But I digress. We shall now focus on this group of very unfortunate people.

P-Chan was walking down the street, sobbing like a pig. At the moment he was a pig, so that is to be expected. Ryoga, the soul inside the pig did not really want to become a pig at this moment. His ability to get lost and stay that way had him walk around the same block over and over again. This didn't bother him, this happened very often. What bothered him was that he failed to notice the water filled ditch on the side of the road. Or the large truck barreling towards the ditch. Or the fact that he was right next to the ditch.

So crying like a pig, Ryoga continued around the block, when he should hear, "P-CHAN!!!♥" Akane promptly picked him up and hugged him tightly. It wasn't the fact that he really liked Akane that he passed out and blood was coming down his nose, it was his location due to the hugging of said unconscious pig. Wondering whatever happened to her frequently missing pet, she walked home. She was late anyhow.

Ranma just felt cold. As in shivering, in the summer. He couldn't explain it, except for the fact that whenever he felt a chill, it was a slight hint that something bad was going to happen. In his current state, he was afraid of anyone he saw enter the vicinity of the Tendo Dojo. When he saw Akane, he screamed, "Go Away! ARRGH! ...Oh, Akane..."

"Are you still feeling cold?"

"Um, y-y-yes..."

"Oh well, I'll tell dad to be on the lookout. I hope that it helps." Nothing had before. He had frozen the hot water bottles, and the hot water they splashed on him froze on impact all the way to the bucket. No one wanted to actually touch him though. Akane wondered what in the world could be so bad that Ranma would be comparable in his semi psychic clairvoyance to Liquid Nitrogen.

CRASH!!! BOOM!!!

Maybe that was it.

The girls had jumped out before the crash. Seta and Keitaro lack the foresight to do such a thing. They also have no need to do so. They both stumbled out of the now burning van {it does that a lot, but it always comes back...}. They were bleeding down their faces from their forehead, and that may be enough to freak anyone in Nerima out. Well, maybe not anyone but Akane for some reason was. "K-K-KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

Ranma burst through the Dojo doors. {that happens a lot, but they always come back...} Now that the omnipresent bad thing was actually here, he was confused. He saw a bunch of girls looking, a bunch of girls tending to two upright head injury victims who were menacingly looking at him and a burning van. That would explain the chills. But how this was bad, he did not know. {Poor, poor deluded soul...} "Do any of you happen to be here... (Think straight dammit! Of course they are here!) to challenge me? (Nice save.)

"Of course they are here to challenge you!" A voice came from a figure who took the time to open the door with a large gaping hole in it. "Look at them! They must be the masters of some kind of immortality art!"

Everyone had somehow learned how to ignore Genma's ignorance for that moment. He stopped talking after his ineffective entrance. Kasumi, who snapped into hostess mode, came out with a boiling hot pot of tea and a bag of cups {there were a lot of people in the yard}. She started towards the middle of the human statues, towards Kei-chan and Seta.

Naru had to pick this time to snap out of bewilderment. She saw and thought of everything that happened recently. "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kasumi dropped the tea on Keitaro and Seta. Ranma and Genma jumped backwards at the shout, into the Koi pond. Reactions were fried except the five cursed ones {Akane is standing there with Ryoga in her arms, Ryoga being the only one to see this all in full perspective}.

"P-panda?"

"G-g-girl?"

"B-buh-b-boy?"

"Bwee?"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HOT HOT HOT!!!" This was Seta. {I said five cursed ones. I didn't say how they were cursed. Seta just has bad things happen to him a lot.}

After Ranma and Genma had been doused in warm water, everyone sat outside. There wasn't nearly enough room to seat them all inside. It was also too hot inside. "So you fell into the Spring at Jusenkyo?"

"Uh, is that what it was? I thought it was a figment of my imagination. I am disappointed that I was wrong."

Naru was really confused and was outwardly showing it. "Confused, Naru-chan?" Ranma asked. He was genuinely trying to help the new people that had crashed a van in their yard. "What are you going to do now that your 'fiancé' is a hydrotranssexual?"

Naru was speechless. Keitaro was awfully calm given his predicament. Motoko was still thinking about possible perversion. Suddenly, she jumped into the air and began to slash with her sword. CLANG!!!

Nodoka stood there, holding Motoko off with her kitana. Motoko jumped back, surprised that this mere housewife could do something that quickly and with that much skill, and then wondered exactly why she jumped in the first place. Something to do with Keitaro or something. {She really didn't think it through.} "You are very skilled with your sword!"

"Thank you." Nodoka said with a smile. "We shouldn't do this."

"I agree." Motoko finally gained some sense of the effects of wanton destruction.

"Not now at least. It wouldn't be nice to further disturb this gathering. Maybe we can pick this up another time."

"I agree." Motoko still liked wanton destruction.

Naru was trying to contemplate what she would do in light of all of the things that just happened. Of course, that is hard in light of all of the things that just happened. For her, all hell just broke loose and was after her. But she knew she had to somehow help fix this mess. "I guess I'll try to help in any way that I can."

"Great. I don't really know what to do with my 'fiancées' myself. So, how are you Keitaro?" Ranma was really trying to be considerate, he did know what Keitaro was going through.

"Argh. How am I?! I am stuck as a girl! I don't want to be a girl. I'm liable to be pummeled out of existence as a girl. But I'm stuck!

"Stop with the raving. Have you even looked at yourself? You are a guy again. It's the hot water."

Keitaro looked at himself. He indeed was Keitaro, not... Kei-chan (Shudder). "Oh. Right. Thanks for that." Turning to Seta, he said, "Seta, how's the van? Can we get home?"

Seta was in agony. Not only because of the tea, but because his van was incinerated from the crash by the rocket booster. "Uh, um, I don't think we'll be leaving any time soon."

"Oh."

"Keitaro? Can I speak with you in private?" Ranma asked. "There's something we have to work out now that you're all stuck here." Ranma and Keitaro went off into the dojo and closed the door. They then put a board over the hole in the door.

All this time, a shadowy figure hidden in the darkness was watching. It jumped away, off into the darkness, with malevolent intentions.

-End Chapter Two-


	3. Exit Nerima

Keitaro's Other Side

A Love Hina/ Ranma ½ Fanfic

Pietaro Urashima

"I see stupid disclaimers!"

Pietaro here, once again, to confuse you with the melding of two equally large character rosters. I hope that any of you can follow this. I can't half of the time.

Chapter 3: In Transit

Since Keitaro Urashima was 5 years old, he lived his life trying to get into Tokyo U. Quite recently, he did so, and in doing, fulfilled his promise to a girl he loved when he was 5. Recent developments aside, he was a happy person. His life hadn't fully panned out yet, but for the first time, things were really looking up.

Since Ranma Saotome was 5 years old, he (unknowingly) and Genma Saotome (insert appropriate adverb here) made deals and promises that would set his life up for the chaos he would have to endure up to the present. He conquered the idiocy surrounding him with relative ease, and was getting along quite okay for someone in his position.

Neither of these boys becoming men were ready for the events that transpired in the last two chapters. Hence Ranma's worry and preventative action which is about to transpire.

"So you don't believe me then?" Ranma said, in a slightly sarcastic tone.

Since the Hinata Crew had settled in, everyone had found something to do. Motoko was discussing the principles of advanced ki techniques with Nodoka, who was in turn, imparting the knowledge of using the sheath as a complement to and as another sword. Motoko was considering a sash for this. Sarah and Su were busy refitting the van with large mecha parts and the like. Seta was busy filling out yet another insurance report. He had to report one once in a while. Shinobu was following Kasumi around, helping her with the chores as well as observing her techniques. Her eyes shone with admiration at someone whom embodied all that was sacred to her outside of Keitaro Urashima. Mutsumi was bumbling about as usual. Akane, Ranma, Keitaro and Naru were seated inside discussing what Ranma had brought up.

"You haven't lived with what I live with. It can't be worse." Keitaro said assuredly.

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Naru had a familiar glow in her eye.

"Oh... no..." Keitaro was introduced to the other side of the room, by way of air. (Good form.) Akane thought.

"Oh really!" Ranma scoffed at the now upended person at the other side of the room. "Hmm. Let's see. It has been about a day since someone started bothering me. So that would make the next attack..."

"AIREN!!!"

"Now." In a few seconds, after Keitaro had righted himself, he saw a rather curvy, scantily clad, and apparently Chinese, girl fix herself on top of Ranma, much in the manner that Su would do so, except even more so. He tasted some blood and quickly noticed that he had developed a nosebleed, yet again.

"A-and who might this be?" Naru and Akane eyed Keitaro for a mere moment.

"This is Shampoo, a Chinese Amazon."

"VILE SAOTOME!!!" Another teen had run in, this time in a chinese robe and glasses that shouldn't under all reason have been able to fit on someone's head.

"And that would be Mousse, another... Chinese Amazon." Ranma had set to the task of trying to push Shampoo off of him.

"He's unusually calm today," Akane noted.

"Who are you? Another trying to steal my Shampoo?"

"Shampoo is not Mousse's Shampoo. Is Ranma's Shampoo."

"Die Saotome!"

Ranma was still attempting to break free of the Amazon Glomp. "Help. Somebody. Please. GEDOFFAME!!!"

Keitaro proceeded to attempt to pry Shampoo off while Ranma pushed her off. "How dare you lay hands on Shampoo! Die!- er... what's your name?"

"Keitaro Urashima. Nice to meet you."

"Ah, thank you. Nice to meet you as well. Die Urashima!" Mousse charged at Keitaro with apparently a Lance, a Spear, a Poleaxe, Halberd, and other assorted polearms extending from his sleeve.

Keitaro screamed on general principles, and Mousse chased him into the koi pond.

When they had come out of the koi pond, Cologne had finally arrived, grumbling about pedestrian traffic. "Alas, yet another victim of the Nannichuan."

(Duck?)

"Quack, QUACK!!!"

Shampoo was shocked at the sudden sex change of the new arrival, only a little though, she did live near Jusenkyo growing up, as did all Chinese Amazon. Little shocked as she was, it was enough for her to release her glomp somewhat, which allowed Ranma to finally succeed in pushing her off, straight into the koi pond.

(Cat?)

"Miya..."

"Ranma, are all your friends like this"

"Theyr'e not my friends, and no not all of them. So far, it's me, dad, R...(Damn, close one there.), Shampoo, Mousse, and a guy called Pantyhose Taro who I hope you never have to meet... But all of them are weird, the Kuno's, Gosunkugi... please don't make me continue.

"99.99% of the populace has a dan ranking in some kind of martial art, or is the practitioner of some obscure martial art that shouldn't even be possible, but is highly effective."

"So, you mean, I lived in a dorm where everyone could kick my ass, now I'm in a city where everyone can kick my ass? I feel right at home."

"Quack."

"Maybe not right at home, but I feel better."

Cologne hated waiting. She had patience aplenty, but she could be as mature as a 5 year old, some of the time. She smacked Keitaro in the back of the head with her cane and promptly squatted on top of it again {the cane}. "Urashima, was it? Given your... new situation, I should join you. As the matriarch of the Chinese Amazon, I have a duty to help you with your curse."

"You didn't offer me any help when you found out about me." A disgruntled Ranma mumbled.

"I heard that." SMACK. "Let's go inside."

"Hmm..." Keitaro had just finished sharing with Cologne exactly who he was and where he came from. Or rather, Keitaro had just finished listening to a plethora of good and bad details about him and his life from his tenants. "So your'e capable of taking punishment well hmm?"

Keitaro opened his mouth to answer, but Su had thought of a more efficient way of proving this fact, being a genius and all. She pulled out a giant lazer labeled 'Re-atomizer' and fired it at Keitaro. Cologne's first response was (Hidden Weapons Technique?). Keitaro shone for a moment, and then disappeared. A few moments later, he reappeared, apparently having been taken completely apart and put back together in mere seconds. "That hurts more than it seems."

"Well, that was... strange... and yet unfounded- GAAK!" Su shot Ranma for the hell of it, and Cologne barely dodged out of the line of fire. Upon re-atomization, Ranma promptly vomited, and passed out. "Hmm... so Ranma couldn't withstand the effects of that device, and yet Keitaro seems relatively unharmed."

"I hit them 'cuz they're probably the only two humans alive that can survive re-atomization."

"Oh. PUT IT AWAY NOW!!!" Cologne showed genuine panic, obviously believing what Su had said. "Ahem... Now, Ranma, you had said before that he needs training in the martial arts?"

Recovering, he sat down, clearing his throat. "Yeah. He shouldn't leave Nerima like that, so staying here, he's likely to be attacked more than once."

"Yes, that seems to be the case. I suppose we could send him to my friend in the Amazon Village, she shouldn't mind him too much."

"Thank you very much." With that Keitaro stood up, and walked over to the door and opened it. Or that's what he expected to happen. Keitaro tried to open the door, but Kasumi had opened the door, walking outside with Shinobu, and Keitaro ended up with his hand on her breast. Kasumi only said "Oh my..." and both Naru and Akane attempted to punch/mallet Keitaro into LEO. From opposite sides. Which ended up with Keitaro lying on the floor, having suffered two times the destructive force of a 'Pervert's Bane'.

"Then again... he might not fare so well in the Amazon Village. I don't think it would be best for him to do as we had planned."

Ranma stood up. "It's getting late anyhow. We would offer you a room, but I don't think that we have enough space for all of you."

"I seem to remember having some tents..." were the words that led to the Tendo, Saotome, and Hinata tenants sleeping in the courtyard, in tents of course.

"Sshhh... Soun, can you make anymore noise?"

"I'm (sob) sorry, but it's just so sad what we're going to make the (sob) boy go through, Genma." Soun Tendo could cry over a good night's sleep, so it's no surprise at his reaction during this dark night.

The two shadowed men crept towards Keitaro, Naru, Ranma and Akane's tent. There was much bonding and laughter in that tent over past antics. "Are they asleep?"

"Y-yes."

"Then let's get to work." The men stealthily entered the tent, picked up one male inside the tent, and loaded him on a truck a good distance away from the Dojo. They drove through the night, and upon reaching... somewhere, they dumped the young man, and hurried back to Nerima.

Keitaro woke with a start and immediately looked around. All he could see was lush jungle in every direction. Except for one, and in that direction, he saw a hut, and what looked like a village. Getting up, he started towards the village, hoping to find some help, if not at least some cool artifacts of some sort. If only he knew exactly where he was going. If he had gone in the opposite direction, he would have run into Jusenkyo.

Genma and Soun were backing into a corner, bowing and looking for an opportunity to escape and flee for their lives. They were being stared down by an angry mob of females. Well, Naru, Akane, Kanako and Nodoka don't really constitute the numbers of a mob, but they can do more than recreate the effect of one. Nodoka had taken on a crazy, angry vibe that normally wasn't expected of her. "It's TOO early for your ANTICS, HUSBAND. I SUGGEST that you explain NOW what you have done with Urashima-san." Her hand remained grasping her omnipresent kitana.

Naru was staring with tears slowly trickling down her face, while Akane and Kanako were staring with rage. Not that Naru didn't have enough rage to go around, but she was showing her worry more. There was no way that Soun could withstand the cause for tears, and Kasumi had to prop him up so that he wouldn't drown in his tears. Genma, however, was still glancing left and right, knowing that at any moment, his opportunity would manifest itself. And it did, the moment that the ladies' attention slightly drifted to Soun as he nearly drowned. He leapt and began to run away, and stopped shortly after he saw he had to or run himself through with Motoko's sword. Su was readying the charge for the Re-atomizer, Kanako gathered her battle chi, Akane grasped a mallet (in malletspace, of course) and Nodoka her kitana.

"Okay, okay! I giwe up! I surrender!"

"And you will tell us what we want to know?"

"Yes, Yes of course."

"Okay, so what have you done with Urashima-san?"

"W-w-we took him to... to the Amazon Jungle! (sob sob more sobbing)"

"Dammit Soun! (Have you forgotten already the delaying tactics we developed over the years?)"

Ranma had a determined look in his eyes. "We can't leave him there, stranded and alone. We have to go get him. If you would like to HGGRK!?" Ranma had directed the last towards the Hinatasou tenants, but stopped at seeing the same look in all of the girls' eyes, one of immense worry.

They looked at each other. They looked at Ranma. They looked at Nodoka, who stared at the girls for a moment, and nodded in understanding, and Akane did the same. They glared at the other two men, who were still quivering in fear. Then they explained their worst fears to Ranma, who seemed to have not taken them seriously when they took it as their task to describe Keitaro. His eyes then widened, but the other women didn't look surprised. (Women, even when they're not talking, they're talking. Damned Eyespeak.)

Su then unveiled what she had been working on during all the chaos.

Keitaro stepped into the village. He couldn't read chinese, and so didn't understand any of the signs or markings. He also didn't see anyone around. So when nobody responded to his calls for help, he took it to himself to look around. He then found a hot spring. Since no one was present at the moment, he decided to take a bath.

Sniff. Sniff. "I smell a man."

"... We all do. This is the male's hunting trail that we are crossing."

"I know, you can't miss the bright pink trail markers (Blind Fools...). No, it's coming from the village. I think it's the bad kind of man."

"You must be joking. No one is stupid enough anymore to go to our village."

"Hmmm... I guess you're right. But I still want to go back. I've been meaning to try out that new hot spring we put in."

-End Chapter 3-

I apologize to anyone who waited so long for this chapter, if any of you are left. I honestly couldn't make it work until now, since now I have more of an understanding of Ranma 1/2. Yes, I was stupid and started a crossover without knowing enough about both series. Well, I have some kind of an idea for the next Chapter, but that might take long too. That and my attempt at a more serious fic. Please look for me on Fiction Press if you're interested. Thank you for reading my fic, please R&R, and stick around, kay?


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